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Diligence Really Does Matter

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I really didn’t want to do it, we didn’t have to do it, and we could have easily justified not doing it. To be perfectly honest with you, what I really wanted to do was buy a new car.

I’m usually the strong one, but this past week I almost caved.  For a month or so I could quite literally smell the leather of every new car that passed me.  Every vehicle looked appealing because I’m driving an 8 year old mini-van with a missing hubcap.

Franklin’s quick to bring up our car’s faults (I like to refer to these as her “character”).  He will start car-shopping the minute I give the green light.

I’m typically quick to defend her.  She’s paid for and has never left us stranded.  She’s super spacious, gets fairly good gas mileage, and has kept her paint job intact.  In fact, I told Franklin several days ago, “I need you to defend the van (“her”) for me.  I’m about to cave!  I know you’d like nothing more but I really need you to be the strong one here!  Defend the van without laughing and make me believe you mean it even though I know you don’t!  I need you to be the good cop here!”

This summer we contracted with a private school that began using our curriculum in their PK, K, and 1st grade classrooms.  We received payment this week.  Coupled with our Emergency Fund, we could have purchased a nice family vehicle, but we didn’t.

We have a plan.  We’re going to pay off the house (I say as I lower my voice an octave and boldy assert with as much resolve as I can muster).  I’m giddy as I anticipate walking into Wells Fargo, paying the last little bit, and shouting, “We’re debt free!”  And I’m equally giddy to see how God plans to use the income He frees up.

We’re pretty disciplined.  We’ve been intentional about our personal finances for many years, but handing that check to the teller today was really difficult for me.  It’s a picture of opportunity cost.  I intentionally chose to keep my mini-van for another couple of years as we gave the mortgage a hook to the jaw today.  If we’ve learned one thing in slowly walking out of debt it’s that Diligence Really Does Matter.

uplander

 As a teacher I’ve seen diligence bear fruit time and again.  A child who is diligent to practice a new skill will gain proficiency.  It will likely not happen over-night (and neither will losing weight nor dumping debt) and the sooner we help our children understand that the better.

I have countless memories of our oldest practicing for piano Guild auditions every Spring.  Each year his piano music required a little more skill than the previous year’s.  He is now a freshman at our local university and I am blown away when he sits down to practice piano.  My, how 12 years of diligence has paid off for Bailey.

How have you taught your children that things worth having in life will often require patience and hard work, diligence and dedication?

Grandparents Really Do Matter

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Research in child development has long pointed to the significance grandparents play in a child’s cognitive, behavioral, and social development.  Anthropologist Margaret Mead studied inter-generational relationships and found that 1) connections between generations impact mental health, 2) the best learning is inter-generational, and 3) inter-generational relationships bring out the best in human behavior.

I was fortunate to know all of my grandparents.  I lost them before I turned 30, but I have beautiful memories of their love and attention.  Had I not known my grandparents I would likely never have:

  • Spent weekends camping in a fifth wheel
  • Floated down a cold, freshwater stream
  • Ridden on a passenger train through mountain terrain
  • Fed cows before sunrise
  • Killed and recycled every part of a rattlesnake
  • Made a fort out of bales in a hay barn, or
  • Swam in a mossy stock tank

While relationships are not always what they could be, in the lives of children in general, Grandparents Really Do Matter.

grandparents

This week was particularly stressful.  A get-a-way turned ugly when our daughter was involved in an accident at the Albuquerque zoo.  I was grateful for compassionate medical care.  I was also EXTREMELY grateful for my mom and mother-in-law.

I had neglected to take our medical and prescription insurance cards on our trip.  My moms made several trips to our house to get the information we needed.  We also knew our moms were on their knees, praying for Emma.  The only times Emma asked to use my phone were for calls to her Mimi and Grammars.

My husband and I rely on our moms daily.  We live in the same small town, talk or text with them daily, and see them several times a week.  They both make meals for us and our children expect to be allowed to spend time alone with them every week.

Grandparents who are actively involved in their adult children’s lives add much to the extended family.  Not only is it comforting to know that our moms love and care about our children, but grandparents often help their adult children by providing:

  • wisdom in child rearing
  • babysitting
  • financial support
  • emotional stability

As significant as the relationship between the grandparents and their adult children, the relationship between actively involved grandparents and their grandchildren is truly special.  Research indicates that children with strong ties to grandparents feel uniquely special, have higher self-esteems, and have more fully developed emotional and social skills than children without grandparents.

The role of “grandparent” is different than the role of “parent” in many ways.  Because their focus is not discipline, children see grandparents as freely offering unconditional love.  Grandparents can be role models, mentors, confidants, and playmates in a relationship that is often less complex than the parent child relationship.

Grandparents know the value of time and the importance of being fully connected.  Grandparents tend to be less hurried and more relaxed than parents, engage more completely in their grand-children’s interests, and are often more giving of their time and complete attention.

While our children love their grandmothers in a very special way, they often mention “missing” their Papas.  Our oldest son, Bailey, has memories of each, but Emma turned 4 the year they passed and Caden was born the day after my father-in-law’s funeral.  Caden was 9 months when my dad died and does not “remember” him.  But the idea of grandfathers and the sense of void in their lives is enough to elicit tears on a fairly regular basis.

Please join the conversation.  In what ways do grandparents add to the lives of your children and how might less-than-ideal inter-generational relationships be strengthened?

For more from Marea, check out Me and Thee Studios’ faith based leveled readers for 1st-2nd graders at http://www.meandtheestudios.com/early-reader-collection.html.