Category Archives: Family

Daddies Really Do Matter

Two things have happened this week that have left me thinking about the role Daddies play in the lives of their children.  For many more reasons than I can possibly list in less than 500 words, Daddies Really Do Matter.

My daddy was a good daddy.  He told me often that he loved me and was affectionate, but he was physically ill most my life.  Except for band activities, he was not an active dad and was not involved in many things outside of our home.

I took advantage of that as a teen.  There were many times and situations in my life where I needed him to be physically present.  More times than I care to admit, I needed him to physically stop me in my tracks, turn me around, march me to my room, and ground me for a month or two.  Or ten.

As a young adult, I had to reconcile his physical absence and the mess I made of my teen years.

It was on my Walk to Emmaus that I found some peace for that deep hurt.  The Lord brought a pastor named Jim Kelly to “stand in the gap”.  I poured out my heart to Jim and received a Daddy’s kindness and compassion.  I’m so grateful for several conversations The Lord allowed me to have with Jim including our last conversation two weeks ago today.  Jim’s final, “Hey, baby girl!” will forever be in my heart.

On Monday afternoon of this week, just hours after Jim’s passing, our family took our annual fall pictures.  I can’t help but tear up today when I look at the pictures of Franklin with our kids.  There are no words to convey to you what kind of a daddy my husband is to our three children.

Eighteen years ago, he declared his love for me and my three-year-old son.

Three years later our daughter Emma was born. Emma will look back on her life many years from now, when she has a little more life under her belt, and realize how very blessed she is to have Franklin.

f-and-littles-2

Four years after Emma’s birth, we welcomed our son Caden.  From basketball in the church parking lot to a fresh water bottle every night before bed, Franklin models sacrificial love to each of our kids in very specific and beautiful ways.

family

Not only is his attention to our children a blessing to them, it’s HUGE to me as their mother.  I’m so grateful to parent with a man who’s sold out to loving his family well.

Young men, when you father a child be the man your children deserve.  Young women, when you choose a man to give your heart to, chose a man who’s willing to love hard and persevere.

Don’t wait for Father’s Day to love on the Daddies in your life.  Do it today!

“Cleaning House” Really Does Matter

There are days when spic-and-span is a must, but in general, I stopped stressing too much about my kids’ bedrooms long ago.  While our definitions of clean are very different, the bedrooms simply do not justify blood, sweat, and tears on a regular basis.

Not long ago, I rearranged our 11 year old’s bedroom.  Caden, who has had bunk beds for many years, was ready for a change and when furniture is being moved around it’s time to really dig in.  There are times when “Cleaning House” Really Does Matter.

cadens-bedroom

I started with the empty water bottles.  When I was finished collecting them, they filled the kitchen sink.

I moved on to trash.  In addition to the somewhat expected 11-year-old-boy trash (candy wrappers and broken toy parts), Caden had a whole box of Kleenex (used) between his bed and the wall.  He explained that it’s easier to stash them when you have a cold than to put them in the trashcan.  He did have a valid point.  The trashcan was on the opposite side of the room.

From there I addressed the things I knew he’d outgrown.  We tend to add to the closet and dresser but don’t remove things as often as we should.  It was time.  It was also time to address some toys that no longer “fit”.

Caden was not quite ready to give up his collection of costumes and was still highly attached to his stuffed animals when we moved into this house 18 months ago.  I knew he’d moved on so I bagged them all up and tossed them in the den for Caden to sort through when he returned home from school.

As I pulled from his closet, I sorted toys on his newly arranged beds.  One bed held those I assumed were keepers and the other held toys I felt he would likely want to add to our give-away mountain in the garage.

With all his “keeper” toys laid out on one bed, I had a bit of an “a-ha” moment.

Caden has some really neat things.  I hadn’t seen some of them in many months.  I imagine Caden hadn’t remembered what was stashed in the depths, either.

I stepped back a bit and considered the other things I’d sorted through.  Caden has some sharp-looking clothes I never see him wear.  Doubtless, a stuffed closet and a stuffed dresser are difficult to manage when you’ve hit the snooze button one too many times in the morning.

I really allowed this reflecting I’d begun to hit home.

How many “things” in my life have I outgrown?  How many “things” clutter my mind and affect my emotions throughout the day simply because the “trashcan” isn’t close enough?

And what about my blessings?  Are there treasures in my life that I take for granted?  What richness surrounds me that I’ve lost sight of because I’ve been too focused on the trash in my life?  Have I lost sight of my many blessings amidst the clutter?  And finally, one last tough questions in light of the 2016 presidential election this week, do I allow the clutter (or Facebook commentaries) to rob me of the fantastic and the beautiful in my here and now?

There is room for some “cleaning house” in my life as we approach Thanksgiving.   What about you?