In February I was in the company of some crazy cowboys sharing “true stories”.  Maybe I should clarify that these fellows are all clergy and we were serving together at a women’s church retreat.  I might also add that their “true stories” are all a variation of the traditional tall tale or bad joke.  Anyways, I couldn’t help myself.  I had to share a couple completely true stories of my own.  If you’ve raised a boy or two I’m going to assume you’ll relate!  If you’ve only raised girls, these stories might make you grateful.   And I might mention that if my youngest knew I was posting these for the world, I’d be in big trouble!

We listen to very little but K-LOVE in the car.  I’m one of thousands who’ve been blessed to hear my children join in worship from the backseat.  And as all children (and myself I must confess) often do, the words we “hear” in the lyrics are not always those written by the artists.

Caden was 3 and Franklin and I were heading home with the family from Wal-Mart.  Francesca Battistelli’s Free to be Me and DreamWorks Kung Fu Panda were both favorites at that time in our home.  Caden was just old enough to enjoy the word “tenders” in reference to a male’s more sensitive parts.  From the backseat we heard Caden join Francesca in singing, “’Cause I got a couple dents in my tenders… Got a couple rips in my jeans.”  Can you imagine?

While on that subject, I might as well share another story about my tender boy.

Caden started Tae Kwon Do this year and much to my surprise “athletic protection” was required.  I thought Franklin should be the one to take Caden shopping for that item in particular.  Franklin was somewhat delayed in making the necessary trip to Wal-Mart and every time Caden and I got in the van he would ask if we were going to Wal-Mart to get his, “Mom… you know”.

Franklin and Caden returned home with the “you know” one evening and Caden put his “you know” on right away.  He walked out of his bedroom and I could immediately tell that he had his “you know” on because his little “you know” looked completely wrong, you know?

Caden loved his “you know” and the next morning when he walked into the kitchen his pajama bottoms looked… you know.  I questioned, “Did you wear your ‘you know’ to bed?”  He most certainly had and while in the quiet of his bedroom he’d learned that knocking on his “you know” was hilarious.

We sat down for breakfast and Bible study with the family that morning.  Caden knocked on his “you know”.  “Knock, knock,” Caden sings.  “Who’s there?” I answer.  “Well, you better not open this door,” replied Caden.