Tag Archives: Things that Really Do Matter

Loving Well Really Does Matter

From ancient writings there emerged four Greek words to describe four unique emotions that we label “love”.  Simply put, these four emotions are affection, friendship, romance, and unconditional charity.

With Valentine’s Day, I think it’s fair to say that we’ve each considered “love” at least a bit this week.  You’ve probably thought about relationships in your life for which you are grateful.  Whether these are “romantic” in nature or not, you’ve likely measured how these relationships have grown and developed and how they can be nurtured for further growth and increased strength.

In each of your relationships, I’m sure you’ve come to realize that “love” is a give-and-take exchange.  When a relationship is one-sided and a person feels they’ve given far more than they’ve received, bitterness and resentment enter and the relationship often deteriorates.  To assure that the needs of both in a “loving” relationship are met, Loving Well Really Does Matter.

Can get close enough to my Mr.Can get close enough to my Valentine!

My husband Franklin’s love language is Words of Affirmation.  In our marriage, my words can make or break his mood.  Not only do compliments and encouraging, kind, and humble words mean the world to him, but the absence of words of affirmation speaks volumes.

Our oldest son Bailey’s love language is Quality Time.  He loves focused attention and quality conversation.  Hanging out with friends and family are extremely important to Bailey.  Unlike me as a teenager, Bailey doesn’t want to miss a good meal or movie time with us if we’ve got some down time.

It doesn’t matter what the trinket might be, our daughter Emma (whose love language is Gifts) will love it.  She holds onto “treasures” as memories of people, events, and places that are significant.  Her OomPapa’s tee shirts, pillows made out of her Papa’s favorite flannels, letters she has received, and clothes her friends and cousins have given her all exemplify “love”.

Caden and I are the only two in our family who share the same love language.  We interpret “love” through Physical Touch.   At 8, Caden wants to sit on someone’s lap while watching TV, hold hands while walking anywhere, and have his hair or back rubbed while falling asleep.

Do you know your children’s love languages?  If not, Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages is a good place to start.

Words of Affirmation and Gifts don’t come naturally for me.   They take more intentional thought and effort on my part.  I don’t need either nearly as much as I need physical touch and quality time, but in meeting Franklin and Emma’s needs, it’s not about filling my tank but theirs’.

I think we often take Luke 6:38 out of context and somehow connect it to tangible blessings;  “Give, and it will be given to you.  A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap,”  but the final part of the passage, “For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you,” brings us to love and compassion.  When we intentionally (and sacrificially) love our family, speaking into their lives to bless them to their very core (their love language), and walk in confidence that the love we pour into their lives will be returned, how much happier our homes will be and how much more our children will look to us as shepherds in their lives.

How do your children (and your spouse) hear “I love you”?  Have you ever specifically said “I love you” in a powerful way that will never be forgotten?  Share your examples of Loving Well by joining the conversation, replying at the top of this post.

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For more from Marea, check out Me and Thee Studios’ faith based leveled readers for 1st-2nd graders at http://www.meandtheestudios.com/early-reader-collection.html.

Literacy Really Does Matter

It would be pointless to temper my feelings about literacy for you.  After teaching hundreds of children to read in the first grade classroom, I am a firm advocate of literacy and believe that literacy is critical to a child’s happiness and success.

By definition, literacy is the ability to read and write.  As reading is the primary source of gathering information and writing is the primary tool of communicating with others, the significance of literacy cannot be overstated.  I am aware of the irony of preaching my thoughts regarding literacy in writing to be read exclusively by the choir.  Regardless, Literacy Really Does Matter.

Caden has fallen in love with The Boxcar Children this month

Caden is currently fond of The Boxcar Children

I was certainly fortunate.  My father was an educator and my mother read countless books to us (my siblings and I) when we were very young.  I “picked up” reading quite easily (evidence that a home steeped in language is powerful) and was reading when I started kindergarten.  I enjoyed reading and became a very fluent reader as practice is certainly one variable in reading proficiency.

As an educator, I was able to contrast my early childhood with that of students I served.  Many came from families with parents who had poor literacy skills.  I witnessed first-hand a vicious cycle of poor parental literacy which too often translated into literacy frustration for my first graders.

I found the following facts (gleaned from the resources cited below) to be interesting.

There are certainly economic impacts of poor literacy for adults.  Data indicates that adults are more likely to be non-working and are more likely to be on state benefits if they have significant difficulty reading and writing.  Poverty and poor living conditions often accompany poor literacy, one is less likely to own a home, and wages earned by the illiterate are often no more than minimum wage.

Health concerns abound for the functionally illiterate.   Adults with significantly poor literacy skills are more likely to smoke and drink excessively and often require more medical and mental health care than their literate counterparts.  There is higher infant mortality in illiterate families and a shorter life expectancy.

Socially, adults with poor literacy are more likely to live solitary lives than their more literate peers.  They are less likely to vote or participate in the community.  They are less likely to trust people and are more likely to become incarcerated.  According to the Department of Justice, “The link between academic failure and delinquency, violence, and crime is welded to reading failure.”  In fact, studies indicate that up to 80% of incarcerated adults are functionally illiterate while a child who is reading on grade level in 3rd grade has a 99% certainty of never being in jail.

Home life is certainly affected.  Couples who are functionally illiterate are more likely to divorce than couples with strong literacy skills.  Children from homes with illiterate parents are more likely to have extreme school absenteeism.  They are often ill-prepared to start school and quickly become further and further behind.  They are more likely to drop out of school, have children of their own at a young age, and are likely to have poor literacy skills themselves.

While literacy rates in the United States are higher than rates in many countries around the world, 14% of the adult population can’t read (32 million adults) and 21% read below a 5th grade level according to a study conducted in late April by the U.S. Department of Education and the National Institute of Literacy.  This information begs a couple of questions:  why should I care about the literacy of others and what can I do about it?  I’d love to hear your ideas!  Join the conversation by replying with the button at the top of this post.

To Read or Not to Read (2007), The National Literacy Trust (England), Literacy and Primary Education (Chowdhury), Education for All Global Monitoring Report (2006), Reading Horizons (Angela Stevens)

Before you leave the site, follow my blog (top, right of this post).  It’s quick and easy 🙂

For more from Marea, check out Me and Thee Studios’ faith based leveled readers for 1st-2nd graders at http://www.meandtheestudios.com/early-reader-collection.html.