Tag Archives: Dave Ramsey

Car Fever

2 Replies

I’ve spent quite a bit of time thinking about vehicles this week as our van is in the shop for routine maintenance.  Call me crazy, but nothing about an $1100 bill feels routine.

With 129,000 miles, our family’s primary vehicle was well over-due for its 100,000 mile coolant and transmission flush and tune up.  The water pump was leaking and the air filter and wiper blades were in desperate need of replacement.  I should confess that we bought this vehicle used with 15,000 miles and we’ve never taken it in for more than its 3,000-5,000 mile oil changes.  We missed the recommended 50,000 mile service by 79,000 miles.  It was definitely due for some TLC.

I drive a 2006 Chevy Uplander.  It’s a mini-van, and there’s no way to dress it up as anything other than a family vehicle that often resembles our second living room/kitchen combo.  In fact, it often smells like our bathroom.  In the summertime you might find left behind towels and swim suits that have started to smell or sweaty socks and shoes that are removed as soon as is physically possible.  There have been various drink and food spills, as we often eat on the go, and food is sometimes forgotten in one of the van’s many out of sight, out of mind storage compartments.  My husband refers to the van as my second purse, but very little that is left in the van is actually mine.

Our van’s exterior has seen better days.  I’m grateful that we’ve had space to keep it in a garage or carport as the paint job and clear coat are very nice, but the van has been in several fender benders during our 6 years of ownership and a close inspection reveals dents, dings, cracks and folds that serve as reminders of “experiences”.  You’ll have to ask Franklin to recount the specifics for you.

Nine years ago Franklin and I began our journey toward Financial Peace with Dave Ramsey.  At that time, we drove an Eddie Bauer limited edition Ford Expedition with leather seats and fanny warmers.  That Expedition was the culmination of a long line of expensive vehicle decisions.

When Franklin and I began dating, I drove a little green compact 4 door.  It was perfect for my little family of two, but I traded it in for a brand new sporty 2 door when we married and our income increased ever so slightly.  We realized our folly when we became pregnant and thought through a second car seat in the very small back seat of our little silver bullet.   We upsized to a Dodge Intrepid, and just 1 year later, we upsized again to the Expedition.   Car fever is certainly an illness that is difficult to recover from, and I’ve felt myself on the verge of a relapse in recent months.  I find myself envious of my friends’ cars and I often long for leather once again.

A friend and I were talking this past week about a “Spirit of Poverty”.  We were discussing new jeans and $300 purses and I began to think about our van, our wardrobes, our diet, and the furnishings we have in our home.  These are not new musings; and yet, we’ve chosen time and again to be frugal.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines frugal as, “careful about spending money or using things when you do not need to;  using money or supplies in a very careful way.”  I prefer that definition to the synonyms I also found, “scrimping, self-denying, monkish, miserly, and penny-pinching,” although I know that some might accurately describe me at given times.

My van really is just a means of physically getting from one place to another.  In keeping my van, which should be in tip top shape for another several years after this week’s maintenance, I’m giving up a wee bit of comfort and a bit of pride and status, but I wouldn’t be at home pursuing a new business venture with another $400 monthly bill and an increase in insurance that a new car would require.

I certainly don’t have this all figured out, but when all is said and done, we want to honor God with our finances.  We do not want a $400 car payment to be the thing that stops us from pursuing things of value that we feel called to do, but we also do not want to be seen as walking in a “Spirit of Poverty”.  We do not want to imply that walking in faith is a life of self-denial; or is it?  James 3:15, Luke 16:9, 1 Peter 2:11, Proverbs 21:20, 1 Timothy 6:10, Proverbs 27:23, Luke 14:28-30, Proverbs 22:7, Proverbs 6:1-5, and Romans 13:8 have given us pause regarding our finances for many years.  Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.”  Heavenly Father, that your Word rather than our culture, be my guide.

Poop stains and all… So sorry!

2 Replies

While dusting our bedroom this week I began to reminisce about our housekeeping journey. You might find this interesting, my struggles keeping our house clean may encourage you, and you may well relate.

I remember cleaning house together the week or so after Franklin and I married. We were in the bathroom and I was “encouraging” a bit of elbow grease around the base of the toilet. Bailey (my son from my first marriage who is now seventeen) turned four the month we married and if you’ve potty trained a boy you know the extra attention the toilet required. Franklin said, “Do you clean like this every week? This is, ‘I’m moving out and I want my deposit back’ kind of cleaning!” Suffice it to say, I did most of the cleaning for the next 18 months.

In the summer of 2001, just 21 weeks into what we believed to be a healthy pregnancy, I was ordered to 24/7 bed rest. I was contracting, was 80% effaced, and was beginning to dilate. Franklin often mentions those four months as being pivotal in his life. We’d lost our first pregnancy together nine months after we married and facing a second loss in our second year of marriage certainly quickened a new maturity. Franklin was responsible for all the cooking, cleaning, and chasing after our five year old.

After Emma’s birth we settled into a new home and a new shared system of house keeping. From 1000 square feet and a family of three to 1900 square feet and a family of four, our world and responsibilities were expanding. We tried to keep the house fairly tidy throughout the week saving the laundry, sweeping, mopping, and dusting for the weekend. If we were in a particularly busy season (report cards or parent teacher conference week, high school musical, Maypole and graduation) the house might go 2 weeks between scrub-downs.

With the birth of our third child came an additional 400 square feet and the busier we were the more Franklin mentioned hiring a housekeeper. As his weekends became an extension of his workweek (with school activities on Saturday and praise and worship responsibilities on Sunday) we often desperately needed a weekend after our “weekend”. Although our house remained fairly tidy and the bathrooms and kitchen floor received weekly attention the rest of the house often had to wait for the afternoon of our 2nd Sunday small group.

Franklin and I traveled to Mexico for two weeks of Spanish immersion the summer of 2010 and enjoyed “home stay” accommodations. Señora Christina had a large, older home in Guanajuato. She employed two cooks and two housekeepers and as we talked about our life in The United States she found it difficult to believe that Franklin and I both worked outside the home without help preparing meals or cleaning. I was envious of her seemly spare time for coffee with friends who came to visit and decided that I would look for a housekeeper when we returned.

We found a fantastic housekeeper who cleaned our home every Friday morning for the following year. We tidied the house on Thursday evenings and Ms. Carmen did the deep cleaning we found increasingly difficult to make time for. She was worth every penny we paid for her service, but our children began to take responsibility for less and less around the house. We adjusted our approach again at the end of that year.

Although our children have chores they do without compensation simply because they are a part of our family, they have chores they are responsible for when we clean the house and we pay our children for their work. We’ve taken Dave Ramsey’s lead on teaching children to work and plan for their money as an important learning experience. We’ve had to very explicitly teach what we expect (what exactly does a “clean” room to look like) and have had to turn a blind eye when the laundry isn’t folded quite “right” but was done to the best of an 11year old’s ability. In the end, “Many hands make light work.”

Before you incorrectly assume that you would find my house spotless if you were to pop over unexpectedly let me confess that our home is often a mess! Particularly this past year…

About the time we’d unpacked all our boxes (see previous posts :)) and were feeling somewhat settled in our new home last fall we noticed a peculiar puddle on our daughter’s floor. Two weeks later we noticed a larger puddle in the same spot. Long story short we’ve had to completely remodel both bathrooms this year, taking the old down to the studs to start from scratch. Our house has been a construction zone more than it’s been a model of cleanliness. In fact, I believe I was recently more embarrassed than I’ve ever been in my life.

I have a fairly new neighborhood friend named Rhonda. I met her initially in August as I had her daughter in my class this year. Although she and I are the same age she is much cooler than I am. She’s very hipster, is my first vegan friend, and effortlessly pulls off fun hair colors and retro eyeglass frames. Lexie and Caden are good friends and we’ve had “exie over for several play dates.

Two weeks ago, Rhonda walked Caden back to our house and her youngest needed to use our “facilities” before returning home. Franklin and I were knee deep in tile cuts and thin set and as I walked Rhonda and Vivienne to our master bath I quite literally wanted to die. I texted her an hour or so later, “Poop stains and all. So sorry. Want to go hide in a hole for a week. Embarrassed!”

Feel free to stop by for coffee, but if I haven’t gotten around to deep cleaning this week, promise not to hold the poop stains against me!