Category Archives: Family

Loving Well Really Does Matter

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From ancient writings there emerged four Greek words to describe four unique emotions that we label “love”.  Simply put, these four emotions are affection, friendship, romance, and unconditional charity.

With Valentine’s Day, I think it’s fair to say that we’ve each considered “love” at least a bit this week.  You’ve probably thought about relationships in your life for which you are grateful.  Whether these are “romantic” in nature or not, you’ve likely measured how these relationships have grown and developed and how they can be nurtured for further growth and increased strength.

In each of your relationships, I’m sure you’ve come to realize that “love” is a give-and-take exchange.  When a relationship is one-sided and a person feels they’ve given far more than they’ve received, bitterness and resentment enter and the relationship often deteriorates.  To assure that the needs of both in a “loving” relationship are met, Loving Well Really Does Matter.

Can get close enough to my Mr.Can get close enough to my Valentine!

My husband Franklin’s love language is Words of Affirmation.  In our marriage, my words can make or break his mood.  Not only do compliments and encouraging, kind, and humble words mean the world to him, but the absence of words of affirmation speaks volumes.

Our oldest son Bailey’s love language is Quality Time.  He loves focused attention and quality conversation.  Hanging out with friends and family are extremely important to Bailey.  Unlike me as a teenager, Bailey doesn’t want to miss a good meal or movie time with us if we’ve got some down time.

It doesn’t matter what the trinket might be, our daughter Emma (whose love language is Gifts) will love it.  She holds onto “treasures” as memories of people, events, and places that are significant.  Her OomPapa’s tee shirts, pillows made out of her Papa’s favorite flannels, letters she has received, and clothes her friends and cousins have given her all exemplify “love”.

Caden and I are the only two in our family who share the same love language.  We interpret “love” through Physical Touch.   At 8, Caden wants to sit on someone’s lap while watching TV, hold hands while walking anywhere, and have his hair or back rubbed while falling asleep.

Do you know your children’s love languages?  If not, Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages is a good place to start.

Words of Affirmation and Gifts don’t come naturally for me.   They take more intentional thought and effort on my part.  I don’t need either nearly as much as I need physical touch and quality time, but in meeting Franklin and Emma’s needs, it’s not about filling my tank but theirs’.

I think we often take Luke 6:38 out of context and somehow connect it to tangible blessings;  “Give, and it will be given to you.  A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap,”  but the final part of the passage, “For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you,” brings us to love and compassion.  When we intentionally (and sacrificially) love our family, speaking into their lives to bless them to their very core (their love language), and walk in confidence that the love we pour into their lives will be returned, how much happier our homes will be and how much more our children will look to us as shepherds in their lives.

How do your children (and your spouse) hear “I love you”?  Have you ever specifically said “I love you” in a powerful way that will never be forgotten?  Share your examples of Loving Well by joining the conversation, replying at the top of this post.

Before you leave the site, follow my blog (top, right of this post).  It’s quick and easy 

For more from Marea, check out Me and Thee Studios’ faith based leveled readers for 1st-2nd graders at http://www.meandtheestudios.com/early-reader-collection.html.

Read Alouds Really Do Matter

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I’m blessed to be in Wyoming with Emma and Caden (our 12 and 8 year old) and 6 of my nieces and nephews.  My younger sister Kathi and her husband have out-of-town obligations this coming week.  I’m filling in during their absence after having learned their routines and the layout of Jackson last week.

Today I cooked 3 meals for myself and 8 children, got everyone to church on time, negotiated nap time for a 2 and 4 year old, planned our meals and purchased groceries for the week, supervised their family’s weekly cleaning day, got 2 loads of laundry done, bathed the youngest two and had all 8 tucked into bed on time.

Quite honestly, I’m pooped.  I was ready to sit down and put my feet up 3 hours ago.  I could have easily justified eliminating tonight’s bedtime stories with the youngest 2 but I powered through because Read Alouds Really Do Matter.

Read Alouds

My nieces have many of their books memorized and “read” several of the pages with me.  In fact, Grace (it won’t surprise you that she’s 2) corrected my meter for We’re Going on a Bear Hunt.  Apparently, my sister and I have a different rhythm for the book’s refrain.

Carli and Grace are clearly reaping the many benefits of being read to.  Reading aloud to children:

  • Exposes children to rich, sophisticated language, structure, and vocabulary
  • Increases a child’s attention span, listening skills, and working memory
  • Cultivates a child’s creativity and imagination
  • Fosters a love of reading and learning
  • Introduces children to people, places, things, and events around the world and throughout history
  • Nurtures the emotional bond between parents and children

I love that Kathi has several of the same board books for her children that I had when my children were little.  We’re Going on a Bear Hunt (Rosen and Oxenbury) and Goodnight Moon (Margaret Wise Brown) brought back a flood of memories.  The Very Hungry Caterpillar (Eric Carle), Blue Hat, Green Hat (Sandra Boynton), Sheep in a Jeep (Nancy Shaw), and Mo Willems’ Pigeon and Gerald and Piggie books were also some of our favorites.

Research indicates that the benefits of reading aloud to children continue into their pre-teen years (as a child’s reading level doesn’t catch up to his listening level until eighth grade).   My own children are no longer toddlers and our read alouds have certainly changed, but reading aloud is still a part of our daily routine.  Not only have we read (or listened to) several books aloud for pleasure this year (Charlotte’s Web, Matilda, The Trumpet of the Swan, The Chronicles of Narnia, and Peter Pan) but we’ve read increasingly for academic study reading no less than 8 books aloud (each) for the Middle East, Africa, Asia, and marine biology.

I suspect (as the week goes on and fatigue sets in) there will be evenings when I might not want to read a pile of books to my nieces.  No doubt about it – parenting well requires sacrificial love and diligence.  But keep your eye on the prize!  Ultimately, reading aloud is an investment with guaranteed dividends.  Your commitment to reading aloud with your children every day will pay off one-hundred fold in the long run.

What are your family’s favorite read alouds for pre-school and school aged children?  Join the conversation by replying at the top of this post.

Before you leave the site, follow my blog (top, right of this post).  It’s quick and easy 🙂

For more from Marea, check out Me and Thee Studios’ faith based leveled readers for 1st-2nd graders at http://www.meandtheestudios.com/early-reader-collection.html.