Tag Archives: Chronicles of Narnia

Three Family “Traditions”

I’ve enjoyed meeting with several homeschooling mommies this summer as I prepare for our school year. I’ve learned so much from them already as we’ve discussed our children and their strengths and struggles, curriculum, literature, “schedules”, school “space”, and expectations. In a recent conversation with a precious mom who has a daughter just one year older than Emma the conversation topic turned to purity as it relates to discipleship opportunities as our children go through puberty and the middle school years. I shared 2 things that we’ve done now with our two oldest, two “traditions” if you will. We certainly plan to continue both with our youngest. Along those lines, I began to think about another of our “traditions”. I wonder if these three are similar to something you treasure as a family tradition and I wonder if you have your own that you’d like to share.

I’m not sure that our first “tradition” began on our first anniversary, but very early on, and because of limited financial ability to do something amazing on our anniversary, like take a trip-of-a-lifetime, I created a list of questions. Franklin and I take 2 copies of these questions into a restaurant and over dinner we individually answer each question. The questions give us an opportunity to reflect on the past year and dream a little as we look forward to the next. After we’ve both finished our own remembrances, we read through our answers together. We often confuse the waiter with our 2 hours of silent contemplation and then intermittent laughter and tears as we celebrate the past, present, and future together.

“What kind of questions are they?” you might ask. They’re nothing profound and I don’t mind sharing them in the least. I might add here that we were married on New Year’s Eve, so “this year” and “next year” refer both to our year of marriage and the calendar year. In fact, we were married on the Millennium’s Eve. Franklin chose the date assuming that it would be easy to remember our anniversary and exactly how long we’ve been married (this coming New Year’s Eve will be 14 years as we ring in 2014). Ingenious, wouldn’t you agree?

What was your favorite adventure this year? What was your hardest day or your most difficult experience? What was your biggest celebration of the year? What will you never forget about this year? What are you worried about as we wrap this year up? What are you looking forward to in the coming year? Where would you like to go for our anniversary next year? Where do you envision our finances being one year from today? Where would you like to see each of the kids one year from today? What else would you like to accomplish this coming year? What was your favorite gift this year? What craziness from the kids do you want to remember from this year?

The second and third “traditions” are more family related.

We shared Bailey’s summers (my oldest from my first marriage) with his father and step-mother. Since he was gone six weeks of every summer, the time we had with him was particularly precious. The summer after his fifth grade year we decided to take Bailey on a camping trip, just he and Franklin and I. It was a whirlwind of a trip. We traveled most mornings to a new destination, hiked all afternoon, set up our tent and campsite in the late evening, and began again the next morning for our next stop. We visited Chaco Canyon, Canyon de Chelly, Mesa Verde, and the Great Sand Dunes in six short days. While traveling, we listened to the seven Chronicles of Narnia books on CD and enjoyed the conversations that naturally follow such marvelous reads.

Looking back, that trip was pivotal in our relationship with Bailey as he transitioned from little boy to young man. We were able to lay the groundwork for conversations that would follow during his junior high years and the trip itself allowed us time, without any distractions, for sharing our heart with one another. I don’t remember taking any work or any other books with us. We were intentional about enjoying time outdoors in the beauty of God’s creation, enjoying Bailey and who he is, and focusing on our relationship with him.

We leave with Emma one week from today on her camping trip. We have 2 nights reserved at The Arches National Park near Moab, Utah and 3 nights at The Grand Canyon’s North Rim. Although Emma is more of a book worm than Bailey was and has read The Chronicles of Narnia, I’ve checked out the collection from the library and can’t wait to revisit these books with Franklin and Emma. I’m particularly excited to spend the week focused on Emma, where she’s been, where she’s at, and where she sees herself in the coming years.

And finally, the third “tradition” began with my mother’s mom, my Nana. As a wedding gift, my grandmother gave me Letters to Karen by Charlie W. Shedd. The copy she gave me was old and yellowed and in the margins she’d written from her heart, practical lessons she’d learned in her marriage to my grandfather. What a precious legacy and a memory of these amazing people, both of whom I lost in my mid-twenties, long before I knew the value of the wisdom they had offered.

Because of that gift, and because of my love of the written word, I’ve begun to purchase books for my children and have written personal notes from my life in the margins for them to read and think about.

The first two books I chose were reactions to new challenges I was facing as a mom.

When Bailey began to think about dating I ran to the used bookstore, desperate for advice on parenting a teen as he began navigating the dating scene. I found Joshua Harris’ I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I don’t know that I would have valued the information in the book as a teen, but I certainly believe that had I, I would have avoided some heart-ache. The approach it presents is so contrary to today’s culture and I’m so grateful that Bailey is not as prideful a teen as I was. He read the book and has handled himself with integrity. I praise God for the young man he is.

About that same time, Emma became interested in breasts and bras. Again, she was my first experience navigating the topic of puberty with a daughter. I found Growing Up, It’s a Girl Thing: Straight Talk about First Bras, First Periods, and Your Changing Body. It is a fairly detailed book for young tween girls, but I reasoned at the time since Emma was in public school that I’d rather Emma be presented with all the facts in a safe setting at home than learn about puberty from her peers or Google it… because she, in particular, is our inquisitive child. Again, I made notes in the margins, sharing my own memories of puberty and physical changes with my only daughter. She’s found quiet times to question me in person based on the information I shared and we continue to find her re-reading that book at bedtime when we tuck her in at night.

Not that we’ve done much “right” in our desperate attempts to do the best we know to do as we walk with God in this journey, I imagine these three traditions in particular continuing. And again I wonder, are these three similar to something you treasure as a family tradition and I wonder if you have your own that you’d like to share?